The God who sees me

There is a story in the Bible that I had a hard time understanding at first, and I’m going to tell it to you.

Everyone has heard of Abraham and Sarah, who were the original holders of God’s covenant.

You know – more descendants than stars in the sky, etc. etc. But not many people remember Hagar. Hagar was Abraham and Sarah’s maidservant. Her story starts when Sarah misjudges God’s covenant and she has Abraham sleep with Hagar. My guess is that Hagar didn’t have much say in the matter, because she gets pretty furious with Sarah when she finds out that she’s pregnant. Sarah retaliates, and Hagar runs away into the desert.

It’s already something of a soap opera, but it gets especially interesting when God interferes. He sends an angel (in some circles thought to be Christ) to meet Hagar in the desert. This angel tells her to go back, to name her baby Ishmael (i.e. “God heard my misery”) and then prophesies that Ishmael will be a “donkey of a man” and will forever be at odds with his brothers. Then Hagar says, “You are the God who sees me. I have now seen the One who sees me,” and goes back to Abraham and Sarah.

A couple of years later, Isaac is born. He and Ishmael don’t get along, and Sarah wants to kick Hagar out again. God assures Abraham that He’ll take care of Hagar, so he sends her into the desert. Once exiled, Hagar becomes so desperate that she hides Ishmael in a bush and walks away, sobbing. She doesn’t want to see her bastard son die of thirst. She is truly alone. Then God talks to her from heaven, tells her that she shouldn’t be afraid, that he heard her son crying, and that Ishmael will be ok. The story ends with God providing her with a well of water, and being “with the boy as he grew up.”

The first time I read this story, I did not get it. At. All. I mean, couldn’t God have prevented all that conflict??? Why does He create Ishmael, when it’s clearly a point of contention with everybody? Why does He let Sarah drive Hagar out into the desert – not once, but twice? Why does He let such bad things happen to Hagar? And why does He tell Hagar that her son will be ugly and disliked? Ruuude!

If I were Hagar, I would be pretty bitter towards God, wouldn’t you? It seems like she gets majorly slighted. Sarah has a husband, wealth, and the unwavering covenant of God. Isaac’s son is Jacob, who God literally nicknames “Israel.” Ring a bell? Hagar… Well, Hagar has a donkey for a son.

But Hagar worships God. And she names him – the first person in the Bible to so, a servant and a woman, no less. Why?

This story has everything to do with what God does with bad circumstances and with people who are outcast and aimless. The story of “sin and redemption” is pretty common, so it’s not difficult to understand why God blesses Abraham and Sarah regardless of their pride. God forgives them. Done. But Hagar didn’t really do anything wrong. She was dealt a bad hand. What does God do about that?

God doesn’t make Hagar’s situation all that much better, nor does He ever really promise to. He personally sends an angel to basically tell her, “Hey. You have a baby. You both are not very well liked and that’s probably not going to change, but you’ll live. And I’m here, and I’m God, so everything is ok.” He knows that He is better than Hagar and Ishmael’s physical and emotional needs. And He’s right. And Hagar gets it. She understands that meeting God face-to-face and hearing His voice come down from heaven is worth more than the thousands of descendents that He promises. Sarah only interacts with God from the inside of a tent, but Hagar sees and is seen by God. Lucky lady.

I mean, can you say that you’ve seen an angel of God? I think that if my kid died and I looked God’s angel in the face, that I would still worship Him in spite of everything. Which brings me to my point – the presence of God is more significant that the presence of anything else in life.

It’s a gritty reality. Sometimes life deals you a bad hand. Like an off-suit 2 and 7. Like a “this couldn’t possibly be any worse” hand. Or even a “I’m going to have to watch my baby die. Alone.” hand. (I’m not a mother, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t get worse than that.) Hagar shows us what matters most: Christ. She shows us where hope is: Christ. She shows us who will give us directions, if directions need to be given: Christ. She shows us who will provide water when we are most thirsty: Christ.

God can let bad things happen, because he knows how good He is. That’s the key to understanding the gospel: He’s way more good than the bad is bad. It’s the only explanation that doesn’t leave us desperate.

So, I’ll admit: not getting to go to South Africa this year is a pretty bad hand. And unlike Hagar, it wasn’t the result of someone else’s sin. But God’s good. He gives me the water I need, and He sees me.

So I guess I’m a lucky lady, too.

Pray for:

-God’s presence & direction

-Some well water, so to speak